Our great country’s leader, Donald Trump, said, “Every place is doing these betting things, and I was never much in favor of it.” This is interesting considering Trump will now be launching a prediction market of his own. Betting Markets have become legal in all 50 states, and have very loose regulations. Ever since 2024, these markets have exploded in popularity and led to large increases in gambling addiction despite their claim of not being a ‘gambling platform.’

Unfortunately, our country’s gambling epidemic has also affected the students at CORE Butte. First hooked by gambling in video games, students have moved to the betting markets to try their luck. 

Some seniors, in a quick money grab, made a prediction on whether a freshman would be thrown into a dumpster and bet large sums of money on “yes.” You can imagine how that turned out.

One student has been hauling a large, Vegas-style slot machine from class to class just to stay stimulated. This is extremely distracting for the other students; however, the kid is a statistical anomaly and can’t stop winning, which provides him with enough cash to bribe peers to “just deal with it.”

Due to these gambling habits, most students have taken on large amounts of debt, sold valuable possessions, and even auctioned off a family pet, just for a little more gambling money. One nerdy freshman even synthesized antimatter just to sell it for a quick $14 and half a sandwich. The sandwich ended up in the trash, and the $14 was lost at the roulette table.